Taking the time out of your day to stop and write a card or note to someone who has recently experienced a death in the family is a long-time custom in western society. Decades ago, families used to print “death cards” announcing the loss of a family member that were then sent to friends and associates of the deceased. The recipients of the death notices would send back condolence cards.

When the practice of sending death announcements curtailed, likely due to the wider accessibility of newspapers for obituaries, the practice of sending sympathy cards remained in place and still flourishes to this day.

Example sympathy messages for the loss of:

Selecting the right sympathy card

First, do not limit yourself to a pre-printed sympathy card. Sometimes a simple, handwritten note is more meaningful. A short note expressing your feelings about the loss of the loved one with a kind salutation is a lovely way to express your sympathy.

If you do choose to send a card, it is important not to just grab one off the shelf without reading. Take your time and find an appropriate message. Expressing sympathy at the loss of someone at the end of a long life will require a different message from a sudden loss of a young person. Furthermore, your relationship to the bereaved will be different. The loss of a coworker’s parent will require a different card and message than the loss of a spouse’s parent.

If you have any photographs of the deceased that their family may like to have, it would be a nice gesture to include one or two with the card. If you have an abundance of them, send just a couple right now and follow up with a large album, scrapbook, or digital file at a later date.

It is not easy for everyone to express their feelings in words and buying a pre-printed card may help with finding the appropriate sentiment. It is important to choose one’s words carefully when expressing sympathy.

What to avoid writing in a sympathy card

• Do not use the words “at least” in any way whatsoever. Those who have experienced a loss do not need or want to hear their loss minimized with comments such as “at least he didn’t suffer” or “at least it was quick.”
• Do not tell funny anecdotes or stories about the deceased. Save that for in person. Writing something like “I have such fond memories of __________” is more appropriate.
• This seems obvious, but it needs to be said. Do not mention any hard feelings or negativity, even if they are well deserved.
• Unless you are certain of their religion, do not use any religious language.
• Do not ask anything of the deceased, even something as small as requesting a phone call.
• Do not ask for any details of death. If the family wants you to know, you will know.

What to say in a sympathy card

• Do share your positive feelings about the deceased. Particularly, how they made you feel.
• Offer support only if you can follow through. If you do offer support, clearly state what you would like to help with and follow the card with a phone call.
• Express your empathy for their loss.
• Reassure them that there is no time limit on grief.
• Keep it short. One sincere line is enough. Do not overthink it.

In doubt, err on the side of caution. One simple, heartfelt line of sympathy is more than enough to express to the recipient that you care.

“I am thinking of you during this difficult time,” or “I am so sorry for the loss of _____.” These statements are fine if these rules seem too overwhelming.

Addressing religion in a sympathy card

Pay attention to the religion expressed in the card and make sure it is appropriate. If you are uncertain of the recipient’s religion, choose a card with no mention of a higher power or afterlife. On the other hand, if you are certain of their religion, they will likely find comfort in words of their faith.

Example sympathy messages

The most important quality any sympathy card must have is sincerity. Whether you choose a blank card that you fill in yourself or a card with a pre-printed message, take the time to ensure that the words are an accurate representation of your feelings towards the person who is receiving the card.

What to write in a sympathy card for the loss of a mother

• I am sorry to hear about the passing of your mother.
• Please accept my condolences for the loss of your mother.
• I was saddened to hear about the passing of your mom.
• With caring thoughts
• Your mother’s spirit will always live on in you.
• Your mother was always so proud of you.
• We will never forget your mother.

What to write in a sympathy card for the loss of a father

• I am sorry to hear about the passing of your father.
• Please accept my condolences for your father’s passing.
• I was saddened to hear about your loss.
• Your dad would be proud of the person you have become.
• Your father’s spirit will always live on in you.
• We will always have wonderful memories of your dad.

What to write in a sympathy card for the loss of a husband

• I am sorry to hear of your husband’s loss. Time is a thief.
• Please accept my sincerest condolences for the loss of your husband.
• We will always have great memories of your husband.
• The bond shared by the two of you will always be remembered.
• I offer my deep sympathy for the loss of your husband.
• Please be assured that you are in my thoughts.

What to write in a sympathy card for the loss of a wife

• I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your wife.
• ______ was such a wonderful woman, and I am so saddened to hear of your loss.
• I offer my deep sympathy for the loss of your wife.
• The bond shared by the two of you was one of a kind.
• Please accept my sincerest condolences for the loss of your wife.
• The coming days will be a little less bright without her smile to light up the room.

What to write in a sympathy card for the loss of a child

• While there are no words to adequately express the loss you have suffered, please know that you are in my thoughts.
• I am deeply sorry to hear of this tragic loss.
• A parent should never have to bury a child. I’m so, so, sorry.
• __________ will always live on in our memories, and it will never be enough. Please accept my sincere condolences.
• Please accept my sincerest condolences at the loss of your beloved ______.
• I can not find the words to tell you how deeply affected I am by your loss.
• Such sorrow is unbearable. I offer my deepest sympathies.

What to write in a sympathy card for a miscarriage

• I am sorry to hear of the loss of your pregnancy.
• Please accept my condolences for your loss.
• There are no words to adequately express the grief one feels from a loss such as this.
• I was so sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my thoughts.
• Wishing you strength as you recover from this tragic loss.
• __________ was much loved and wanted by many and will be sorely missed.

What to write in a sympathy card for a brother

• I am sorry to hear of the loss of your dear brother.
• Please accept my sincerest condolences for the loss of your brother.
• Losing a sibling is losing a lifelong friend and companion. I am deeply sorry.
• _____________ will not be forgotten. His smile always lit up the room.
• I will never think of ____________ without remembering your brother.
• Your brother was so fortunate to always have you in his corner. I am sorry for your loss.

What to write in a sympathy card for a sister

• I am sorry to hear of the loss of your dear sister.
• Please accept my sincerest condolences for the loss of your sister.
• Losing a sibling is losing a lifelong friend and companion. I am deeply sorry.
• Your sister will not be forgotten, and we will miss her every day.
• Your sister was fortunate to always have you in her corner. I am sorry for your loss.
• We are filled with beautiful memories of your sister.
• You will be in our thoughts as you recover from the loss of your sister.

What to write in a sympathy card for a grandparent

• I am so sorry for the loss of your (insert grandparent nickname, ie Grandpa Joe or pappap or nana).
• I am sorry to hear of your grandparent’s passing. What a blessing to have had so much time together, making memories.
• Please accept my sincerest condolences at the loss of your grand(parent).
• The loss of a grandparent is the loss of countless memories. I hope that yours stay with you always.
• Your grandparent will live on through you, and they would be very proud.

What to write in a sympathy card for the loss of a great friend

• Please accept my condolences at the loss of your friend.
• Some friends infiltrate our hearts and become family.
• ___________ seemed much more like family than a friend, and I’m so sorry that you had to say goodbye so soon.
• _______________ will be fondly remembered.
• I’m sorry for the loss of ____________; sometimes people come into our lives and enrich them for the better.

What to write in a sympathy card for a colleague or coworker

• I’m so sorry for the loss of ____________. It was always a pleasure working with them.
• Please accept my sincerest condolences for your loss.
• I am so sorry to hear about the passing of ____________. I am glad you got to work with them and enjoy their company for so long.
• We will always have great memories of ____________.
• I was saddened to hear of the passing of ____________. I know you must feel terribly sad without him/her at the office each day.

What to write in a sympathy card for the loss of a pet

• I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved _______________.
• Your pets are your family, and today you must feel a terrible loss.
• Please accept my condolences for the loss of your sweet pet.
• I was sad to hear that your special _____________ passed on. They were such a loyal companion to you for so long.
• Losing a pet is like losing a family member. Please accept my sincerest condolences.

What to write in a sympathy card for an unexpected loss

• I am saddened to hear of ___________’s unexpected passing. Please accept my condolences.
• I find it difficult to put into words how sorry I am for this tragedy.
• We were so sorry to hear about ____________’s passing. We are holding you in our thoughts.
• Please accept my condolences for the sudden loss of _____________. We have many special memories, and he/she/they will not be forgotten.
• An unexpected loss such as this is so difficult to deal with. Please know you are in our/my heart(s) and have my sincere condolences during this time of grief.
• I am so sorry to hear of your tragic loss. Our hearts/thoughts/prayers are with you at this time.

What to write in a sympathy card for someone whom you do not know

• I am sorry for your loss.
• Please accept my sincerest condolences in your time of grief.
• Although I never knew __________, I know how much he/she/they meant to you. I am keeping you in my thoughts.
• While I never met ____________, knowing how much he/she/they meant to you is evidence of how great he/she/they must have been.
• I know how much _________ meant to you and my thoughts are with you in this difficult time.
• I have loved listening to stories about ______________, and I am deeply sorry to hear of his/her/their passing.

How should I sign the sympathy card?

As with the message, a signature on a sympathy card should be simple and sincere. Still, avoid “sincerely” as it is over-used to the point of seeming impersonal. Try some of the following:

• With love
• All of my blessings
• With all of my care
• Wishing you peace
• Your friend always
• With all of my affection
• Forever your friend

How should I address the sympathy card?

If you are unsure how to address the card, default to a formal business format.

For Married Couples:

• Mrs. Jane Smith
• Mr. John Smith
• Mr. & Mrs. Smith & Family
• The Smith Family

Once upon a time, married women would only be addressed as Mrs. (Husband’s Name). This process is almost completely extinct and unless you are certain that a woman still prefers this, do not use it.

For Single People and Widows:

• Ms. Jane Smith
• Mr. John Smith

Offering Condolences Online

It is now custom for funeral homes to host online obituaries that allow comments from friends and family. Etiquette for these condolences should be similar to sympathy cards. It is also nice to send a follow up e-mail, message or mailed card. It can be a comfort to a family to see dozens or hundreds of people cared about their loved one enough to seek out their obituary online and send a quick note.

E-mail condolences

Treat e-mail condolences a little less formally. Do not ask any intrusive questions or use insensitive language. This is a good format to offer help or let them know when you will be stopping by with a meal or to sit with them. An e-mail allows you to ask how others in the family are holding up and if anyone could use any support or help, as well. Even if you e-mail and offer condolences online, it is still a nice gesture to send a card.

Text Message Condolences

Never use a text message for a formal message of condolence. Text messages should be for short, informal conversations only. Sentiments like “I am so sorry about your loss. I’ve left dinner at your front door” are the only kind that could be appropriate. Do not text questions, requests or any messages that require anything of the person who is grieving.

If you have tried calling, and the bereaved has not answered, it is fine to text about getting them on the phone or any other normal conversation you may have. Make sure, though, that you save the formal thoughts for when they’re ready to talk or when you send them a card in the mail. If you do feel that you must send a text, make sure it disclaims that they do not need to call you back. A great example of this is, “I’m leaving dinner at your door. No need to call back or talk until you’re ready. I’m thinking of you.”

What to send if you’d like to do more

• Flowers

In many circles it is customary to send flowers. Fortunately, florists can assist you with appropriate arrangements, including informing you of what flowers are most often sent to the bereaved and why. Use any of the above sympathy card suggestions to choose what to write on the card that is delivered with the flowers.

• Food

Ready to heat or ready to eat meals, whether homemade are not, are always appreciated. In the days following a loss, people will not want to cook, clean, or even eat. If possible, do not include any dish or utensils that you want back. It is not expected for the bereaved to remember who sent which dish.

• Memorial Gifts

There are many types of memorial gifts available on the internet that can be customized and given as a sweet memento of their loved one. Any of these can be ordered and given at a later date, such as an anniversary of the death or any birthday or holiday that seems appropriate.

• Framed picture of the deceased
• Necklace with engraving of name/birthstone
• Garden stone with engraving or special image
• Dedication of a park bench with a plaque
• Planting of a tree with a plaque
• Artist’s rendering of a portrait of the deceased
• A DVD or digital file of photos, videos, and sound recordings
• Scrapbook

The days and months after the memorial services, when everyone goes home and the food runs out can be the hardest for the grieving. Their world is completely upside-down and seeing everyone in their life go back to normal can be a surreal experience. In these trying days, reaching out to acknowledge their loss and assure them that their loved one is not forgotten can be extremely important and helpful.

These guidelines always have exceptions, of course, as no loss is the same. The important thing is to be sincere and kind. Opening sympathy cards helps the bereaved see how many people cared about their loved one and can aid in the grieving process. We are social creatures and in times of great crisis and leaning on each other for comfort is what makes us unique among living things.

While I hope you never have to use this advice, the unfortunate reality is that you will. I’d like to encourage you to share your loss experiences and what helped you through your tough time with others in the comments below.

If you found this advice helpful, please share on social media using the buttons below and sign-up for our newsletter to receive advice straight in your inbox.

Grief looks different on each of us. Physical signs of grief like headaches, fatigue, and aches are common. Some people completely break down for a few days and others stay stoic, silently dealing with their pain while trying to appear strong for those around them. Some people appear detached, and others can be irritable. It is important to give your spouse the breadth that they need to come to terms with his dramatic change in their lives.

Stages of Grief

Throughout the last half-century, we have often heard of or studied the stages of grief. The five stages of grief were originally popularized in On Death and Dying, by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. The 5 Stages of Grief are

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

This does not cover the full spectrum of grief, but it is useful as a reference.

Kubler-Ross, before her death, lamented teaching these stages of grief so absolutely. While the stages of grief do often follow the pattern, Kubler-Ross went on to say,

“They were never meant to tuck messy emotions into neat packages. They are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grief is as individual as our lives.”

Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Do not worry if your spouse is not fitting into a neat little package. Losing a parent is a major life event, and in some cases, a major life trauma.

When your spouse loses a parent, there is no way to predict exactly how they will handle it. This is why it is important to keep an open mind and offer support and love. It can be intimidating to know exactly what to do or say to help ease their pain. To start, trust your instincts. There are healthy ways with which you can support your spouse through such a loss.

Methods for Supporting a Grieving Spouse

• Remember that there are no rules to grieving.

Everyone grieves differently. Some people immerse themselves into work or taking care of the details of the death. Others will be almost unable to function. In some cases, people express grief with an abundance of tears and emotion, and others are silent in the presence of others.

It is important to reassure your spouse that whatever they are feeling is ok. If you must, say the words “give yourself permission to just feel what you feel.” This can be an immense relief to a spouse who feels numb or disconnected from the world instead of overwhelmingly sad.

• Keep the negativity to yourself.

When it comes to in-laws, there are sometimes past incidents that leave us feeling slighted or bitter. Whether or not you got along with your in-laws, now is not the time to bring it up. Even if you are estranged from the deceased, let that go for now and let your spouse grieve their parent in their own way. I am not suggesting that you forget the past, just have some tact and prioritize your spouse’s grief.

• Take over whatever responsibilities you can from them.

“Focus on comfort, not on fixing it,” says Lori Cluff Schade, PhD. Think of details that your spouse might not be concerned with, such as clothes being cleaned for the memorial services, household chores, etc. Taking care of these details can free your spouse up to grieve however they feel the need to.

When my father passed away, my husband handled everything from food to funeral arrangements while I walked around in a disbelieving haze. When my mother-in-law passed away recently, I did whatever I could to make him comfortable and make sure that he did not have any added stress to deal with.

• Keep an eye out for important appointments.

This is closely related to the prior suggestion but with a slightly different focus. One of the side effects of grief is the loss of focus and ability to remember things. There could be an important payment to send in, a meeting to attend, or something else that completely slips their mind.

If they have a digital calendar, subscribe yourself to it for the time being. If not, keep your own calendar of their appointments just to help remind them in case they are having a bad day.

• Keep an eye out for their physical health.

A study about adult bereavement by the National Institute of Health found that the immune system is impaired following a difficult loss. Prepare healthy meals or snacks for your spouse and encourage them to take their regular medications and vitamins.

The healthy food will help them physically, and they will feel cared for and loved, helping them psychologically as well. Getting outside for a walk can be restorative for both one’s mental and physical health.

• Remind your spouse that they can lean on you.

Losing a parent can feel isolating in a unique way. It can feel lonely, losing the people who brought you into the world and nurtured you into adulthood. Tell your spouse that they can lean on you. Remind them frequently that they are not facing this loss alone.

While you may not be able to feel what they are feeling, they are not feeling it alone. Encourage them to talk about it, or not, depending on what they seem to want to do. Do not pry if they choose to be silent. Just be there, silent with them.

• When appropriate, share your stories and memories of their parent.

A year or so after my father passed away, my husband and I were splashing in the water with the children, when he grew silent. “I miss your dad,” he said. “It never feels right to be swimming without him.” My dad had spent many summers swimming with the grandkids.

It gave me great comfort to know that my spouse genuinely cared for my dad and remembered him fondly. We often share happy memories of our parents with our children so that they remember their grandparents as much as possible, and this brings us comfort, as well.

• Show up. Be there.

Make it a given that they are not alone emotionally by showing up physically. From the hospital to the funeral home to the gravesite: show up. Unless the spouse specifically requests to be alone, you should be at their side.

Try to be with them as much as possible so that if they reach a difficult moment in their grief, they have your support. Your steady presence by their side will be much appreciated.

• Give them permission to move on.

The earlier referenced NIH study found that the bereaved may have better outcomes if they have been given permission to grieve or, in some cases, permission to stop grieving. Giving these words to your spouse can help them emotionally transition to their natural next step. “It’s ok to grieve.” or “It is ok to move on. They would want you to move on and be happy” are both pieces of advice that may mean a great deal to your loved one.

• When appropriate, encourage them to seek outside help.

In some cases, bereavement can be debilitating. After a reasonable period of time, if your spouse seems stuck in a stage of grief, do not hesitate to reach out to a professional grief counselor to help. Make the appointment and go with them, if you must. Grief professionals are incredibly well trained and offer tools that will help your spouse move on.

• Assist them in planning a memorial.

From planting a tree with a plaque in their honor to sponsoring a park bench at their favorite fishing spot, there are many ways to posthumously honor our loved ones. Sometimes your spouse will express that they feel they should have grieved more or done more. Planning an extra memorial event to display the love for the lost parent to the rest of the world can be a wonderful way to express your love and feel closer to the person who has died.

Basic Rules for Supporting Your Spouse

This is a simple foundation of how to be there for a spouse when they lose a parent.

• Be kind.
• Be gentle.
• Be open.
• Be there.

There is more to it than just support, however. A good marriage becomes even closer after the death of a parent. There is a feeling of disconnection from the world when you lose a parent, like you are floating in an abyss and there is no solid ground to hold on to. When you reach out and find your spouse there, you feel reattached. This fosters a closeness and a connection that can sustain you through the process of grief.

Have you dealt with the unfortunate experience of losing a father, mother, or in-law? Or even just someone very close to you or your spouse? What helped you get through it? What takeaways from the experience can you share with our readers? Comment below.

If you found this article helpful, please share on social media using the buttons below and sign-up for our newsletter to receive advice straight in your inbox.

In February 2021, Texas faced an epic infrastructure disaster that left millions of people without power, water and transportation. My family and I were right in the middle of it, stuck trying to cope with this natural disaster. The night the storm blew in, we got alerts that some power blackouts would be affecting our area, and we made basic preparations.

We lived just north of “hurricane alley” for years, so we’re used to extended blackouts and weather danger. During Hurricane Ike, we had an 18 month old child and went seven days without power. In Texas. In August. We know what we’re doing. Our pantry was full, we had warm clothes and candles. Personally, I was excited to get a little quiet time with my fully charged e-reader.

The power went out sometime on Monday, and it just didn’t come back on for hours at a time. Just when we least expected it, the power would surge on for thirty minutes to a couple of hours, our furnace would heat us up a little, and then it would go out again.

Our home requires electricity to run our gas furnace, and the temperature outside dropped to zero. I’ve lived in Texas for 36 years and have never experienced anything like zero degrees. We dripped our faucets and huddled with our children under blankets.

We kept our gas fireplace running, but it didn’t give off much heat. By the time we got a surge of power at 2:00 in the morning, our home was below 50 degrees. Remember, Texas homes are designed to not hold in heat. In the summers, we work around the clock to stay cool. Therefore, our basic home designs and building materials are different than places up north that can live through nor’easters.

While the power was on, we charged all the devices, brewed coffee for the morning, and rushed to cook some hot food. We would repeat this pattern for three days before our power finally stayed on. We watched as our pool froze solid, listened as our pool equipment cracked. We have yet to even calculate the damage.

We anxiously sat together. For one full day, even our cell service was out, and we were unable to contact anyone in the outside world. That was eerie, and I started to get a little worried. Eventually, 5G service would kick in, and I’d get a few updates or text messages from friends.

Every time I checked social media, another neighbor or friend was experiencing freezing temperatures in their homes or busted pipes followed by huge blasts of icy water that then froze the inside of their homes, solidifying the damage to their flooring and walls. It was a nightmare.

In times of great stress, your marriage can and should be an emotional resource to help one another cope with the strenuous circumstances. In many cases like these, when people start to run out of food or medicine or start thinking about what all this damage will cost, emotions can run extremely high, and it’s easy to take frustration out on each other.

Read through the following advice to keep in mind the next time you and your spouse have to cope natural disasters or other sudden, high periods of stress together.

7 Ways to Cope with Natural Disasters and Sudden Stress

1. Reassure One Another From the Beginning

Look your partner in the eye and let them know that no matter what happens, you will weather the storm together. No matter how bad things get, you’ll have each other and will look out for each other’s health and well-being.

2. Try to Settle Any Frustrations with Each Other

If you’re furious about your spouse forgetting to do something, let them know that you need them to do it, and talk it out once everything is stable. Focus on staying safe first. What you don’t want to do is hold everything in, let out a passive aggressive remark and have it spiral into hurt feelings or resentment during a natural disaster.

3. Sit Down Together and Discuss Contingency Plans

This can be done way before any weather event. Under what circumstances will you try to evacuate? How will you handle it if your roof has damage? Having plans or ideas of what will happen ahead of time will give you great reassurance. One of the actions that gave me the most comfort was my husband making sure we had our insurance agent’s number programmed into both of our phones.

4. Stay Up to Date

Monitor updates from local officials and discuss them with one another. If any of these updates will be a problem for you, discuss calmly what you can do. During the ice storm, we were bringing snow inside and filling bathtubs to have water to flush the toilets with in case we lost water.

5. Keep Busy

My grandmother used to say that idle hands were the devil’s instrument. Having nothing to do and getting bored only leads to trouble. Instead of just stewing on what could happen, play a game together. Make a picnic out of non-perishables and make it a date night.

6. Tell Your Spouse What You’re Worried About

I was really scared that we might have pipes bust. I confided in my husband my worries about busted pipes leading to living in a hotel – which many people are currently experiencing even weeks after the winter weather event in Texas event – and having to mess with renovating our entire home. My husband knew just what to say, and he wrapped me in a hug and told me that at least I’d get that new flooring I always wanted. The mood lightened.

7. If You Can’t Sleep, Don’t

Chances are you’ll get a nap at some point, but don’t lay in bed fretting at every noise you hear. Read a book, or do something productive until you are tired enough to sleep.

Three days later, our power came back on. Yes, the pool equipment was a total loss, and it’s going to cost us. We got through it alright, though. We presented a united front to our children and made the experience an adventure. We relied on each other when we needed to, helped each other with work that needed to be done, and when it ended, we cleaned up together. Once your family is secured, do not forget to reach out to friends and neighbors to check if you can help them – especially the elderly or sick that may be too proud to ask for help.

Hopefully disasters like this will start coming at us less frequently. Until that day, we’ll stay prepared and do our best to keep each other safe. There is power in love. Together, we can face any challenge that comes our way.

What are your tips for coping natural disasters? Do you have a great emergency preparedness idea that might benefit our readers? Reach out and share your thoughts with our community in the comments below! If you enjoyed this article, please share on social media using the buttons below and sign-up for our newsletter to receive advice straight in your inbox.

Robert Sternberg, a professor at Cornell University and a well-renowned psychologist, came up with the Triangular Theory of Love. Not to be confused with the term “love triangle,” in this theory there are three interconnected types of love involved in every relationship. They may occur in a certain order, or simultaneously. These are: passion, intimacy, and commitment.

Three Types of Love

His theory states that you will find these three types of love all around the globe; no matter the culture, social status, or wealth of individuals.

1. Passionate love – Passion is the excitement and anticipation you feel about the one you love. Usually strongest at the beginning of every relationship, when two people are falling in love they want to be together all the time. They think about each other all the time. It is universal, and it is clearly evident when it happens.
2. Intimate love – Intimacy is about the connection between two people. Being close to one another, discovering each others feelings, and bonding. Intimate love is the warmth in your belly when your love is holding you close.
3. Commitment love – This is the type of love that develops over time and involves making a decision to commit to one another forever. The type of love within that commitment may vary, but it’s an important distinction between passionate and intimate because you’ve chosen to do everything you can to continue to love them. You can have commitment love without having passionate or intimate love.

These three types of love appear across every single culture. Human feelings of love are universal and what sets us apart and above from other species. It drives us. It moves us. It connects us.

Love Culture

Culture involves the behavior and experiences of those around us. Circumstances influence our behaviors, so we often act similarly to those in our community or country. Most people think of art or food when it comes to culture as these are the most obvious examples, but the ceremonies, customs, and rituals influence our preferences and beliefs at a deep psychological level.

Our rituals are also part of our culture. Rituals are often the direct descendants of an area’s traditional ancestral beliefs and religions, mixed with modern conveniences and technologies. What does this have to do with love? Everything.

How we measure potential romantic interests all depends on how our culture has influenced the way we see people. We’re taught by example from our neighbors, family, and media what type of traits are attractive and what traits aren’t.

Many times, people fall in love or have passion for someone of the “wrong” social position or religion, but usually people stay within the culturally drawn lines. In some cultures, it’s okay, and even celebrated, to go as far out the lines as you want, but in other cultures the lines are drawn very strictly and subject to extrication from your community if you stray outside them.

Different cultures value different behaviors and have different roles for men and women. In some locations, polygamy is commonplace in marriage. In many other countries, that would be simply unacceptable, maybe even criminal.

Traditional Beliefs

Before the world was connected, traditional beliefs and culture were extremely different all around the world. Countries like China and India typically involved parents or elites joining two people together based on a criteria of social status or political advantage. In Europe, royalty and the aristocracy strengthened political alliances by marriage, and the lower classes were sometimes allowed to marry for love.

African tribes developed many different types of marriage contracts based on their religion, circumstances, and traditions. In the traditional Yoruba population of Nigeria, a Babalawo consults an oracle to determine the favorability of a proposed wedding date and to determine if the couple will have a positive marriage blessed with children.

Arranged marriages and dowries are still traditional in many countries. The idea of finding a love match based on, well, love is a very modern concept. As communication improves and people around the world are exposed to new ideas, these traditions are beginning to weaken. But, some communities hold fast to them and cherish their ancestry.

Global Connectivity and Tradition

Media and technology have changed long-held traditions dramatically, with young people watching dating shows and sitcoms that portray couples falling in love. Dating apps are becoming popular in countries where just a decade or so ago hugging and talking between genders was strictly forbidden.

These influences have led to dramatic changes in the way marriage is viewed around the world. As we move towards a more connected world, our traditional beliefs and rituals are changing, largely because of the universality of how we love one another. New traditions are being made every day.

Marriage for the sake of love is spreading all over the globe, giving young people hope for their future and control of their destiny.

Learn How to Say I Love You in Other Cultures and Languages

We’ve sought out writers from around the world to help explain their love culture and how to say I love you where they live or are from. Some of these cultures are embracing western lifestyles while others are holding steadfast in their traditional ways

Now, go forth and enjoy reading about the myriad of culture’s around the world. All of the articles below are listed in this format: Area/Country – Language Spoken

• Romania – Romanian
• China – Chinese
• Yoruba, Nigeria – Yoruba
• Bangladesh – Bengali

Reminder

Please read all of the articles in this series with an open mind. These pieces are written by someone intimately familiar with the local culture, a culture which is unique from the one you live in.

It is possible you will strongly disagree with some of the practices. In this case, learn from the culture, and try to look for some small token of the culture you can appreciate.

If you enjoyed this series, please comment below with your thoughts. Do you have a unique tradition in your country our readers might enjoy? Let us know below. And if you fancy yourself a writer, we’d love to hear from you and potentially publish your community and language’s traditions.

Please share with your friends using the buttons below and sign-up for our newsletter to receive advice straight in your inbox.

Well, not really. This is how it should be, of course. But logic often has absolutely nothing to do with love. When I first fell in love with my husband, I certainly was not wondering if he would be a good partner through financial hardship or tragedy. I just felt compelled to be with him as much as possible, because I could not imagine being anywhere else. I certainly did not want to be told that he had flaws. Those that are in love for the first time are often blind to flaws.

Still, anyone looking for love must keep it in the back of their head that, when they find it, they do need to be on the lookout for personality traits or behaviors that could cause trouble later on. We often hear about “red flags” – signs that this person is not the one for you or that they are not great relationship material. Let’s talk in a language the new in love might be more receptive to read. Let’s look for “green lights” – behaviors or personality traits that indicate that this new love might actually be for the long-term after all.

• Green Light #1: They are respectful to their exes.

We know that in the excitement of a new romance, hearing about a new partner’s ex is the last thing anyone wants to do. Don’t despair, however. The way someone talks about their ex shows you a lot about how they behave during and after a relationship. If the two of you part ways sometime in the future, you can be sure that they will be treating you the same way.

Listen to how they talk about their previous partner. Do they call their former partner meanspirited names? Are they taking any responsibility for their role the events that led to the break-up? Do they have a martyr complex?

If the answers to these questions show someone who is respectful to other people even after they have parted ways – sometimes on bad terms – this is a green light.

• Green Light #2: They are kind to animals

Some people are highly allergic to animals or strongly do not want pets. This is perfectly fine. Other people love animals, and they want to have many pets at one time. This is also perfectly fine. These two people sharing a home someday? Not fine.

Anyone who is kind to animals is generally kind to those whom they are in a relationship with. Whether or not the two of you are compatible in regards to future pets is a different story, but for now, knowing that the person you are dating is kind to beings that are vulnerable is a green light.

• Green Light #3: They are good with children

Again, whether or not the two of you want or can have children together is not relevant to this observation. That conversation can come a little later. Often people are great with animals, but do not even acknowledge children that come their way. An adult who treats children like people and takes the time to speak a few words to them or join in a game is showing you a kind heart.

• Green Light #4: They come prepared

Picture it: The two of you are out on a romantic date at the beach. You have a blanket and a picnic basket and you are holding hands, looking out as the sun sets. Your partner has a backpack with them. “What’s in the bag?” you ask. “Just some things I thought we might need,” they reply, blushing. And out comes the bug spray. Not romantic, right?

Wrong. Your future partner was getting ready to spend the day with you and thought “oh, I wouldn’t want my date to get bug bites! While I am at it, let me grab some tissues and an extra blanket in case it gets cold while we are together.” That’s beyond romantic. That’s an indication that your future partner is already anticipating your needs. HUGE GREEN LIGHT.

• Green Light #5: They don’t play by the rules

By rules, I’m speaking about the rules of the dating game. I’m sure you are aware of what I am talking about. Do not call a new person for three days, do not seem too eager, etc. So many people abide by these silly rules to make sure that they are presenting themselves as a good partner to date. Throw that rulebook out. Now, please.

Being open and authentic about who you are and how you feel is vital to any relationship, long term or short. So what if your partner does not wait the appropriate amount of days to call you or whatever other arbitrary dating rule some magazine though of? If they’re being themselves and opening up about how they feel, then you have an indication that what you see is what you get. That is a great reason to keep seeing someone.

These green lights are a good indicator to move forward and go on that next date. If it turns out to be even more, great. If not? Chances are that you are going to have some good memories from dating a person with a good heart and big personality.

You deserve a good person as a partner.

After they’ve passed your green lights, make sure you are on the same page about your values and future life aspirations. Take some advice from this guide.

What are your green lights? Let us know in the comments below. Be sure to sign-up for our newsletter to receive advice straight in your inbox.

Instead of joining a dating app, join a club or team that interests you. With the advent of event websites like Facebook and Meetup, there are almost unlimited options out there. Here’s why this is better than a dating app: you’ll meet a lot of people with common interests and make some new friends. Your life will generally be richer and fuller and more fun. Even if you don’t end up meeting your special someone, you are still enriching your life. But you never know, along the way, you may just meet a potential partner with whom you share a hobby.

Love is a grand thing, but friendship and common interest are generally needed to sustain a relationship long-term. With dating apps, once you find someone you like, you need to find out if you actually have anything in common. If not, it may be hard to build a long term relationship with that person. Even if you do think you might have something in common, you’ve got to have that first awkward date. You’re both dressed up, wondering what the other person is thinking, all of it. It is exhausting just thinking about it.

Try one of these options instead:

Physical Activities

Sports

Recreational team sports are a fun way to get some exercise and meet some friends. You’ll meet the other players on the team and all of those who come to cheer them on. Then, the after party! If it is a sport you truly love, you’ll have a blast whether you meet someone or not. Not sure what sport to try? It doesn’t have to be one of the major ones you’re probably thinking of. You can even try out up and coming sports like cornhole or disc golf. These sports are gaining popularity, have local followings, and are very welcoming to new players.

Fitness

There are often many types of fitness clubs to join, and I am not only speaking of brick and mortar gyms. My city has a huge cycling club with hundreds of riders that meet daily. On Saturday mornings in the summer, the streets around here look like the Tour de France. There are also running clubs, outdoor yoga clubs and other types of events.

Joining a brick and mortar gym is another great way to meet people. Besides, if they’ve seen you sweaty and smelled you at the gym and still want to date, you certainly do not have to worry that you’re not attractive enough to them.

Special Interests

The internet has assisted people with so many special interests to find others like them. Local or national, there are clubs or meet-ups for almost anything. Civil war re-enactors, bingo players, auctioneer calling, you name it. Clubs based on heritage or cultural traditions are flourishing. Clubs exist to try new restaurants, to see movies, to do almost anything you can think of.

While book clubs are still immensely popular, now you can join clubs for books for almost any niche – sci-fi, historical romance, young adult alien abduction – whatever floats your boat. If you happen to have a passion for vintage books or maps, you can start your own clubs or maybe someone else already has.

I’ve seen clubs where people get together to speak in a foreign language or to talk philosophy. This is a perfect place to meet someone, and instead of swiping right, in French club you can say, “Bonjour, mon ami” with a flirty smile on your lips.

Political Action

Depending on the government that is in place where you live, there may be opportunities where you can meet with people of the same political mindset. Some political clubs are based on activism or community service and others just meet-up with like-minded people.

Volunteering

Volunteering is a great way to meet people that share your values as well as doing something good for the community. I know that if I’m bringing home a new partner it is nicer to tell my parents I met them when we were both volunteering at a food pantry instead of at a bar or a hook-up dating app.

Classes/Self-improvement

Cooking classes are popular for this reason – people love socializing around food. Toastmasters is a popular club for people who want to improve their public speaking skills. There are various business networking events and clubs as well, and the more you show up, the more people you will meet. Spending your time on classes that make you feel fulfilled will make you a stronger person and better partner down the road, and you never know whom you may meet along the way.

Internet Forums

This one can be kind of shady in some people’s minds, but it is really no different than a dating app, or is it? Let’s say that you really love watching American baseball. You find a chatroom or forum where you can talk baseball with other fans from home while you watch the games. Over time, you become friends with some of the regular forum users, maybe you meet up. At this point, you have an established friendship around a common interest. A good starting point for kickstarting your new relationship. Thousands of people have found their life partners this way.

Games

This is a little different from special interests and sports because there are so many options out there now due to technology. For one, augmented reality games are extremely popular. Augmented reality games involve using one’s mobile device to go out in the world and play games based on location. Niantic has two extremely popular games: Pokémon Go and Wizards Unite. Fans of these games often have meet ups several times per month. If you love one of these games, how great would it be to make friends or have a partner that also loves the game as much as you?

Board games are also having a huge renaissance right now. For one, extremely clever new board games are being released all the time. There is a large market of people who really enjoy playing them. There are board game cafes and clubs popping up everywhere. Perhaps you’re a lover of Boggle or Dungeons and Dragons? Either way, there is a club out there for you. Games don’t have to mean what you might have grown up with either. While Monopoly and Life have their places, new games like Tokaido and Ticket to Ride represent a great gateway to a whole genre of games you might not have known existed.

The reason the above ideas are great for people looking for love is that you know a little more about a person than just what they look like and what you can share over text message in an app. If they’ve gotten out of bed and come to play Boggle with strangers, you know not only what they look like but also that you share a common interest. That’s more information than you’d get on any dating app.

Of course, once you are there in person, you still have to talk to someone, right? Approaching someone or chatting is easier when you’re there to do something you enjoy. They’re seeing the real you – what really makes you happy. Neither of you are there to try to impress each other, so perhaps you’re getting a realer version of the person that you’re interested in. This makes for a more compatible couple in the long term.

Put yourself out there. At the very least you’ll be doing something you love or learning something new, and you’ll become more fulfilled and happier as a person. Best case scenario? You have a Boggle partner for life.

What is your favorite ways to meet someone? Let us know in the comments below. And sign-up for our newsletter to receive advice straight in your inbox.

Don’t forget to read submissions from reader’s like you here of their real life love stories. And fictional short stories here. Would you like to share your story or write a fictional piece? Submit your story here.

The earliest goal in a blended family should always be that everyone feels comfortable and safe in the home. To expect more, especially with older children, is unrealistic at first. There are certain ground rules or principles that must be adhered to by all in order to help one another adjust to a new home with new people.

#1 Ground rule: Treat each other with respect.

No matter the age of the children and adults that are coming together, there must first be a clear expectation of respect. There cannot be any transitional period where a child is allowed to mistreat the new family members “until they get used to each other.” The rule must be strictly enforced and practiced by the children and the adults. Things said out of fear or anger early on can taint the step-parent/step-child relationship for a long time.

It is okay to tell the child that they do not have to like the new family members. After growing up with all of these Maleficent movies, do you expect them to trust a step-parent right away? Let the kids know that no matter how they feel about the step-parent in the family, they have to show respect and be polite. Remind the struggling child that this situation is new for the adults, too. They do not have to like each other but they all need to be able to feel comfortable and safe in the new situation.

#2 Ground rule: Everyone needs their space.

This is a very important to children of blended families. I understand that in some homes with many children, a child having their own room is not possible or preferred. What each person in a new blended family needs is some kind of private space where they can get away and decompress. It is not easy for some to get used to more people and more noise. People can become overstimulated. It is ok if a kid finds a nook somewhere in the house and goes there alone sometimes. Make sure everyone in the home has a place like this.

#3 Ground rule: Show up for Family Time

Ground rules one and two must be in place before this rule becomes enforced. If the family is eating dinner together, everyone needs to come to the table to eat. While at the table, everyone must be polite and respectful. Within these parameters, everyone can get to know each other a little better. In some cases, just talking together about mundane subjects like sports or books can make a big difference. For those who are struggling, having a private space to which they can retreat afterwards will help them unwind when family time is over.

#4 Ground rule: Do not overstep boundaries

Ground rule #4 is for the step-parents in a newly blended family. In the beginning, you are entitled to respect, as long as you’ve demonstrated respect to the step-kids. Do not interfere with the biological parent/child discipline, but remain present by your new partners side. Whenever any discipline or talks happen, it is important that the adults present a united front. By standing together, you both ensure that the child cannot play you against each other or disrespect your partner. Any objections or disagreements you have can be discussed with your partner privately.

Down the road, the role of a step-parent can begin to unfold like a coach or counselor, united with the parent but with a clear separation so that the children do not think the step parent is trying to replace the biological parent. In many cases – with these ground rules in place – the relationships do grow to develop a real parent/child bond over time. This bond cannot be forced.

#5 Ground rule: Co-parenting: The children always come first

The rules for blended families do not stop at your front door. The children often have other custodial parents as well as visitation schedules, split holidays, and other arrangements. The adults in the situation need to all agree that the children come first. Do not badmouth each other or argue in front of the children. Passive aggressive remarks about the non-custodial parents are always internalized by the children and cannot lead to anything positive.

Children may react badly to the split or the new step-parent. That is ok. They’re children and they will act like children sometimes. It is up to the adults involved to act like adults so that the children can safely and securely move forward with their new blended family.

Blending a family isn’t always easy, even when done right. The above rules cannot solve every problem in every situation, but what they can do is lend some stability to a situation that a child may go into with some resentment. During all of this, try to keep the romance alive between the two parents that are making this leap together. You knew it was going to be difficult, but it will also be worth it.

Sometimes, falling in love is not something that you plan for. You may not have been dating; circumstances may have brought two people together who have that intense chemistry that they cannot deny no matter how practical the relationship may be. Two people may be completely, head over heels in love with each other, but not know enough about each other to commit.

That is hard to take, if you’re newly in love. I understand. Love is the most important thing in any relationship, but it is not enough to sustain a healthy co-existence long term. So many of us know people who met, fell in love and married in a short time period. We also know a lot of relationships that ended badly because of it. Here’s some advice for your new relationship to make sure it has a good chance of success.

Values

A long-term commitment requires constant compromise. However, there are some values and beliefs that we hold so close that we can not abandon them for any reason without losing ourselves. I’m not necessarily speaking about religion or politics; I’m speaking about closely held values that define the way you see the world. For example, if one partner is rude to a server at a restaurant, and the other person feels a twang of anxiety in their gut because they believe in treating every person with dignity. There is a question that needs to be asked about the future of that relationship.

Some values are necessary in and of themselves for any relationship to last. Honesty and empathy, for example. Maya Angelou’s famous words – “When people show you who they are, believe them.” is so often repeated because it is excellent relationship advice. Remember, at the beginning of any loving relationship, new lovers are presenting their best selves to each other. If someone claims to be in love with you but you find them dishonest or indifferent, there is something wrong there.

“You were dishonest with me. Why?”
“I was in pain. You rolled your eyes and treated me like a child. Why?”

Gathering up the courage to ask is difficult, but the answer to questions like these examples could quickly uncover an unavoidable incompatibility. Directly asking about behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable can also indicate that you will not tolerate being mistreated.

Children

Having children is a personal decision, and no one should ever be coerced to change their mind. The rule of thumb when it comes to children is two yeses, one no. No one should ever agree to have a child that they do not want. I do not use flowery language about this because it is the highest stakes possible.

Deciding to have a child or not is the easy part. When the couple has come to an agreement, they need to discuss how they want to parent the child. Often, a couple is excited to have children, but when the child is born and the messy, hard work and long sleepless nights arrive, they find they have different parenting philosophies.

The following is a list of questions that MUST be discussed before making the decision to have a child and is good to discuss for any new relationship. It might seem early for this conversation, but it is important to be on the same page from the beginning to ensure an everlasting relationship. Do revisit this conversation later on in the relationship as well; people and life situations do change, and it is critical to maintain alignment.

• How the overnight parenting will be split between partners.
• Discipline. Parents must be united or children will divide and conquer when they’re older.
• Medical decisions – circumcision, ear piercing, etc.
• Child care – Stay at home mom? Nanny? Day Care? Grandma?

I could go on for days but you probably get the point by now. If having children or parenting values are incompatible, it could save decades of heartache to have the subject tackled early in the relationship. Many times, partners can explain why they feel the way they feel, share information, and where they once were incompatible they have now compromised in a way that everyone is satisfied. Those relationships will go on to have strong bonds and better outcomes when it comes to the children.

Finances

It is extremely important for each spouse to disclose debts. As well, income and lifestyle needs to be discussed. Some people budget every dollar and others spend on credit as much as they want and don’t mind being in debt. Before you join households or finances, these questions must be asked:

• How much debt do we have combined? How will we pay it off?
• What are our combined incomes?
• How much do we want to save in an emergency fund?
• What are our views on taking on more debt in the future?
• How to save for retirement?

These discussions will usually flesh out what financial priorities each partner has. Finances are the cause of many an ended relationship – going in with your eyes open and understanding each other’s priorities will increase the chances of the relationship lasting.

A Strong Start to a New Relationship is Critical

Every relationship is different, and there will be other issues that come up from time to time that you will need to tackle together. Having already had the above discussions will create a closeness between the two of you. The relationship will be stronger and you will be able to communicate effectively. The chances of a broken heart go way down – if you go forward, you will have set a strong foundation. This is where the Happily Ever After starts.

There are many ways to build a solid foundation for your marriage, but none of them are possible without making the effort. Before you do anything else, you must commit to this principle.

Let them know that you are thinking about them

The first piece of advice that anyone needs to know in a marriage is to think often of your spouse and what their needs are. A marriage should be fulfilling and provide emotional security. Be available when you are needed. Put the phone down when your spouse comes to you to talk. Look them in the eye and listen without interruption. When they give you an opportunity to talk, let them know you listened and you love them, and deal with the problem from there. Allowing your spouse to speak openly and without interruption shows that you respect their feelings and that you are actively engaged in being their life partner.

Trust your spouse with your feelings

Listening to your spouse when they need someone to talk to is only one part of the equation. Asking for your partner’s full attention so you can discuss your needs and feelings with them will show them that you fully trust and respect them as an equal partner.

Only in certain extreme cases should one spouse withhold their feelings to protect the other. What I mean by this is that bottling up your feelings in order to spare your spouse deprives them of the opportunity to rise to the occasion and help you. Be honest about your highs and lows. This will show that you trust them with your feelings and gives them the gift of feeling needed.

Recognize What They Do and Assist

In every relationship, there are certain roles each person plays. Often, one spouse will deal with the outside of the house and the other with the inside. One spouse might deal with children’s sports while the other deals with holiday planning and gift buying.

In many relationships, this dynamic is unbalanced and one spouse is taking on more than the other. Especially in households where both spouses are working full-time outside the home, these roles need to balance. Take a good look at the daily “emotional labor” that your spouse has taken on and if you have the time and resources, help. Do not offer to help. Declare that you are going help.

For example, in your marriage there is likely one spouse that remembers family birthdays and handles buying or making appropriate cards or presents without the other spouse giving it a thought. One of you is likely to always deal with routine vehicle maintenance. One of you may do all the laundry, or cook every night.

Whichever role your spouse has taken on for themselves, step in from time to time and take over. This will show that you appreciate the work they do and will give them a much needed break. When they ask about what you are doing, simply tell them you are doing it because you love them and you want to make them happy every day of their life.

Participate in Their Life

Another important factor in a happy marriage is that each partner should retain their individual interests. Before marriage, one of you may have had season tickets at a sports venue, or another may have participated in book clubs or marathons. Continue to do these things.

In addition, take the time to tag along with your spouse from time to time. If your spouse loves something, make an effort to get involved. If they’re a runner, volunteer to work the race they are running. They will run by and see you cheering them on and they will get a big emotional boost. If they like musicals or sports and you decidedly do not, tag along every once in a while anyway (with a smile). They will know that you came along just to be with them, and they will feel special. They will know that you make them a priority in your life.

Happily Ever After

A marriage in which both partners are fulfilled and confident in their spouse’s love and respect are more likely to pass the test of time. Life is hard, and there will be obstacles that you and your spouse must face together. A good foundation builds a stronger house, and a stronger house can withstand almost any storm. Practicing these principles will ensure that you have a happy marriage for many years to come.

1. Work at it

One aspect of a successful marriage involves both partners intending every single day to work towards making each other happy. Said one spouse about their husband, “If he isn’t happy, I cannot be happy. I cannot rest until I have done all I can to help fix his problem, or until he at least sees that I’ve tried.”

2. Take time

It can be difficult to take the time to address each other’s needs when you are both busy and working. However, it is imperative that spouses make an effort to find time. If you have to resort to setting a timer on your phone or making an appointment on your calendar, then do so. Stop and tell your husband that you’ve made an appointment for the two of you to take a walk or just sit at the kitchen table and talk.

3. Try new things together

Trying something new together is not just about the experience itself. It is about being vulnerable together. You may choose axe throwing, for example. Neither of you knows whether you’ve got any talent or if you can even lift the axe. Going together to try something new bonds you closer together.

4. Communication and Respect

It is always difficult to give advice as every husband is different in his needs and temperament. One man may want company when he is stressed or upset, another may prefer solitude. In any marriage, spouses must feel free to express their needs to one another. Each spouse must then respect the other’s needs.

5. Tell Him What You Need

It is never fair to expect certain behaviors or actions from others without expressly asking first. Unless you’ve married a psychic, you should be clear about what you need. Telling him what you would like from him leaves no room for miscommunication and leaves him feeling needed. Humans thrive when they feel needed.

6. Kindness Matters

Kindness is important. It is natural, when two people live together, that they will each have habits or quirks that will irk the spouse’s nerves. Treat these issues agreeably. Wait until your emotions calm down before addressing the issues, but address them head on. So many couples put emotional energy into subjects as minor as “I can’t stand the way you chew your gum!” Address these issues with kindness instead of disdain, and the mood of your marriage will absolutely improve.

7. Give Him a Break

In times of great stress, one of the best ways spouses can support each other is to tell them that it is ok to lay off the expectations. For example, when a child is born, it is kind and sometimes necessary to remind your spouse that surviving the first weeks of infancy is hard for the parents. During those first few weeks, it doesn’t matter so much if there are a couple of dishes in the sink or if the bed is unmade. Give each other grace when you need it.

8. Have a Hobby

In any happy marriage, both spouses should pursue their own interests. A marriage is about joining two separate people together, not about losing their individuality. Some people make art, some collect coins, and some play recreational sports. If your husband does not have a hobby that he is passionate about, encourage him to find one. If he has one already, encourage him to go work on his hobby while you are taking care of a project or chore for him.

9. Show Him That You Love Him

Be affectionate. Offer frequent hugs and kisses, and tell him how you feel about him. If you are happy to see him, tell him. Marriage means putting your whole heart and soul out there for each other. In the last few years the “Love Language” book by Gary Chapman has been made popular. If you know your husband’s love language, or the things that make him happy, use that information to strengthen your marriage.

Happy Husband, Happy Life

What all of these suggestions have in common is effort. We have all heard the saying, “Happy wife, happy life.” The same applies for “happy husband,” only, nothing conveniently rhymes with husband. Taking the time and effort to make your husband happy will have a positive effect on your marriage and anyone else in the orbit of your marriage.