You know the old cliché, Happy Wife, Happy Life? It exists for a reason. Think back to when you and your wife first fell in love. Every moment the two of you spent together was new and exciting. A sense of anticipation filled your entire body every time you so much as thought about being together.
This first stage of love is by far the most exciting part. Inevitably, this stage fades with time, but that does not mean that you cannot hold on to it for a little longer. In fact, thinking back to the experience you and your spouse had in the first stage of love can enhance the happiness of subsequent stages if you just make a little effort and use those memories to make your wife feel special.
Maintain a Positive Balance
When my spouse and I became engaged, many years ago, a wise man told us that love is like a bank account. When you perform an act of love or kindness for your spouse, you are putting a deposit into the account. When you do something careless or harmful that causes your wife pain, you are making a withdrawal. The key to the happy marriage, he said, is always looking for ways to make deposits into the account. Keep the balance in the black, and you’re looking at a happy marriage.
I’m going to list a few ideas of ways that you can make some deposits, by both recapturing some of the magic from your first stage of love and by trying some new things that will let your wife know that you love her and that she is a priority. This might seem like a lot of work, but in a healthy marriage, it really is the thought that counts. Your life does not have to be consumed with massive daily effort in order to improve your wife’s happiness.
Recreate your first date
If possible, take your spouse back to where it all began. Try to grab the same table at the restaurant if you can, and talk about what you remember about that night. You will each be surprised at what the other remembers.
Do their least favorite chore
Everyone has a chore they hate and dread. Nothing shows love more than cleaning out a cat box or doing a sink full of dirty dishes for your wife so she can rest. This shows her that you notice the work she does and that you care about her day to day happiness.
Join them in doing something they love
It is healthy within a marriage for each spouse to have their own individual interests. If your wife loves to watch horror movies and you do not, watch one with her anyway. Do it because you want to be with her, and do so without criticizing or putting down the movie. Being critical of what someone loves is a little too close to criticizing them and might ruin the whole idea.
Make them a playlist of songs that remind you of them
Remember mix-tapes? For those of you born after the 1980s, the Generation X courting ritual involved manually recording a collection of songs onto a cassette tape. Take the time to put together a playlist of love songs or songs that remind you of your wife. She will swoon at the gesture.
Leave a short love note on their pillow or in their purse/briefcase
This is another oldie but goodie – leaving love notes around. It has been a form of expressing love for centuries because it works. Everyone wants to be loved, and to receive a love note after marriage makes it matter so much more.
Sing to her
In a lighthearted moment, start belting out a song that means something to the both of you, or a love song. Grab them by the hand and twirl them around. Act silly. Imagine the two of you falling to the floor, overcome with laughter.
Fix a hot bath
A relaxing hot bath at the end of the day feels like luxurious indulgence. Fix her a hot bath with some bath fragrance, lay out a towel, a robe, and her favorite book, and leave the room. She will feel loved and cared for.
Take her on a “blind” date
Plan an elaborate evening of romance or fun. Take care of everything in advance: reservations, tickets, etc. Start with dinner, take a tour of your city, or head to a carnival. Plan events you know that your wife will enjoy. She will notice the effort you put into the entire night.
Make your wife happy
These are just a few ways that you can make an effort within your marriage that will improve your wife’s happiness. Everyone is different, of course, so take some time to think about what might work for your marriage. There are no limits or rules here. Your marriage is yours, and you can make it anything you want it to be, if the two of you are working together with the other’s happiness in mind.