In today’s hectic world, married couples often exist in different orbits, rotating and revolving around each other but never quite crossing paths. Between two-income households, children, and familial obligations, the love that sparked the marriage in the first place can become neglected. It’s important to make sure you are both happy. Here’s some tips for making sure you have a happy husband (husbands, check here for some advice for your happy wife)
1. Work at it
One aspect of a successful marriage involves both partners intending every single day to work towards making each other happy. Said one spouse about their husband, “If he isn’t happy, I cannot be happy. I cannot rest until I have done all I can to help fix his problem, or until he at least sees that I’ve tried.”
2. Take time
It can be difficult to take the time to address each other’s needs when you are both busy and working. However, it is imperative that spouses make an effort to find time. If you have to resort to setting a timer on your phone or making an appointment on your calendar, then do so. Stop and tell your husband that you’ve made an appointment for the two of you to take a walk or just sit at the kitchen table and talk.
3. Try new things together
Trying something new together is not just about the experience itself. It is about being vulnerable together. You may choose axe throwing, for example. Neither of you knows whether you’ve got any talent or if you can even lift the axe. Going together to try something new bonds you closer together.
4. Communication and Respect
It is always difficult to give advice as every husband is different in his needs and temperament. One man may want company when he is stressed or upset, another may prefer solitude. In any marriage, spouses must feel free to express their needs to one another. Each spouse must then respect the other’s needs.
5. Tell Him What You Need
It is never fair to expect certain behaviors or actions from others without expressly asking first. Unless you’ve married a psychic, you should be clear about what you need. Telling him what you would like from him leaves no room for miscommunication and leaves him feeling needed. Humans thrive when they feel needed.
6. Kindness Matters
Kindness is important. It is natural, when two people live together, that they will each have habits or quirks that will irk the spouse’s nerves. Treat these issues agreeably. Wait until your emotions calm down before addressing the issues, but address them head on. So many couples put emotional energy into subjects as minor as “I can’t stand the way you chew your gum!” Address these issues with kindness instead of disdain, and the mood of your marriage will absolutely improve.
7. Give Him a Break
In times of great stress, one of the best ways spouses can support each other is to tell them that it is ok to lay off the expectations. For example, when a child is born, it is kind and sometimes necessary to remind your spouse that surviving the first weeks of infancy is hard for the parents. During those first few weeks, it doesn’t matter so much if there are a couple of dishes in the sink or if the bed is unmade. Give each other grace when you need it.
8. Have a Hobby
In any happy marriage, both spouses should pursue their own interests. A marriage is about joining two separate people together, not about losing their individuality. Some people make art, some collect coins, and some play recreational sports. If your husband does not have a hobby that he is passionate about, encourage him to find one. If he has one already, encourage him to go work on his hobby while you are taking care of a project or chore for him.
9. Show Him That You Love Him
Be affectionate. Offer frequent hugs and kisses, and tell him how you feel about him. If you are happy to see him, tell him. Marriage means putting your whole heart and soul out there for each other. In the last few years the “Love Language” book by Gary Chapman has been made popular. If you know your husband’s love language, or the things that make him happy, use that information to strengthen your marriage.
Happy Husband, Happy Life
What all of these suggestions have in common is effort. We have all heard the saying, “Happy wife, happy life.” The same applies for “happy husband,” only, nothing conveniently rhymes with husband. Taking the time and effort to make your husband happy will have a positive effect on your marriage and anyone else in the orbit of your marriage.