In the chaos of everyday life, it’s easy to forget to nurture our souls – and our spiritual connection – to our partners. The next time that you’re looking for a new date idea, try one of these adventures, designed to challenge your spirit.
No two people or two relationships are exactly the same, and you may need to explore different possibilities before finding the right soulful dates for you.
Get Back to Nature
There’s a reason all the best couples’ retreats are set in the midst of natural beauty. Let yourself be awed by the world, sharing that wonder with your date or long-term partner.
Have a picnic under the stars.
Some people have to travel further in order to escape the light pollution, so plan your night in advance. Take blankets and food for a light meal or dessert. Lie back and relax, gazing up at the night sky.
It’s not quite the same, but you can get a little starlight in your lives during the daytime as well. Head to the nearest planetarium for an afternoon date. You’ll have to picnic before or after, but you can incorporate this element as well.
Watch the sun rise.
The other end of the day can be just as magical. Choose your vantage carefully, and make sure you get there in time to watch the sun come over the horizon.
You can approach the sunrise from either end, but if you stay up all night, you might find yourselves wanting to get the whole experience over with. I’d suggest waking early and packing a thermos of coffee… a very big thermos.
Go camping.
Really get away from it all, and spend some quality time together in the woods. Camping comes in all varieties these days – from backpacking through the wilderness to glamping at a luxury site. So even indoorsy couples can pick a level that agrees with them.
Unless your version of romance involves trout for breakfast and sleeping under the stars, make your excursion more pleasant with the right gear for twosomes, including an air mattress and (properly stored) munchables.
Spend the afternoon hiking or taking a walk.
Don’t overthink your next adventure – just make room for it. Block out an afternoon for a strenuous hike or a leisurely stroll.
If you’re the fit and outdoorsy type, you can explore a new trail or even get in some rock climbing. The rest of us might prefer to take an easier path. Maybe even just a walk around the park, talking comfortably, or sharing the silence.
You can make the outing more exciting by going someplace that you’ve never been before. Check out local botanical gardens or out-of-the-way overlooks.
Catch and release.
Or go ahead and fry ‘em up if you’ve got the skills! But fishing is really just an excuse to get out on the water and experience a little peace.
Explore Your Spiritual Side
Whether spiritual maintenance is a regular part of your life or not, you can reinvigorate your own practice and reconnect by trying something new. “Failure” can be just as valuable as success, giving you something to laugh about together.
Try yoga for couples.
You don’t have to be bendy to enjoy and benefit from yoga. There’s an array of yoga classes you could enjoy together, but why not practice supporting one another with couples’ yoga? Limber up, tone those muscles, and nurture your bond all at once.
Take a spiritual workshop.
Open your mind to something new. Look up nearby classes on aromatherapy, crystals, or circling. You might discover a new interest – or you might gain a fun, new story to tell your friends.
Meditate together.
Couple’s meditation serves to enhance intimacy and security. You can listen to a guide or research best practices and topics. If you find that it works for you, go ahead and integrate it into your relationship hygiene.
See a psychic.
You don’t have to be a believer to enjoy the experience. If you get nothing else out of it, the novelty factor can be fun. But you may find yourself unexpectedly entranced. They could have interesting things to say about your aura or your future.
Heck, even if the psychic just cold-reads you, you can get a sense of the message and energy you’re putting out into the world, either singly or together.
Explore Your Hometown’s Heritage
The field isn’t always greener – or more exciting – on the other side. Particularly in these trying times, travel may not always be an option, but that doesn’t mean you can’t feed your soul’s need for exploration.
Play tourist for the day.
What nearby attractions have you neglected over the years? Whether it’s a cathedral or the world’s largest ball of twine, odds are that there’s a nearby point of interest. Find a place in your city to tour together.
You can also explore something that is culturally foreign in your own backyard. Head to the closest Koreatown or Little Italy for a full day of food, shopping, and touring.
Attend a festival.
Find a cultural or religious event nearby. Celebrate Chinese New Year, the Day of the Dead, or Midsummer in proper Scandinavian fashion. Sure, there are the blockbuster festivals, but it can be just as much fun to find that little Ukranian fair that nobody knows about.
Let Yourself Be Inspired and Challenge Your Soul
We all have those fleeting ideas or inclinations: “Oh, that sounds interesting,” or “I wonder what [x] would be like with my partner.”
Start writing those down. You can keep a list or journal and refer to it as opportunities arise. Even better, share that document. This joint brainstorming will help keep your souls connected when busy lives interfere.
Have you tried any of the above ideas? What are your favorite ways to spiritually engage with your partner? Leave a comment below and share your tips with our community! If you enjoyed this article, please share on social media using the buttons below and sign-up for our newsletter to receive advice straight in your inbox.
]]>No matter how much you love your partner, you need some time to yourself – and so do they. The ability to spend time apart, both alone and with friends, is one sign of a healthy relationship.
Of course, us time is also essential! You certainly shouldn’t neglect either your partner’s needs or the relationship, itself. But in order to give and share to the full extent of your ability, you need to maintain your own health and energy.
So read on, and learn why me time matters and how to ask for it in a way that respects your loved ones.
The Importance of Self-Care
We are finite. No matter how awesome, how giving, how energetic we are, we have limits. Respecting those limits isn’t selfish – it’s necessary and healthy. We all need to recharge on a regular basis.
Me time can take place with friends or alone. In fact, you should allot yourself some of each, time for the independent, social you and time for the private you. Some days may call for lunch with a close friend. Others may demand a nap.
Even extreme extroverts need some alone time. They may require less than introverts, but in the same way that “no man is an island,” no man (or woman) is a borderless blob of energy.
Take time to recenter yourself, no matter what that looks like. We all draw energy from similar sources but in different amounts and with different quirks.
Pay attention both to what you need on a regular basis and what you need right now. Perhaps, regular exercise keeps you fresh and upbeat. Integrate workouts into your schedule, but also be aware of more immediate, changing demands. Run-down? Maybe a long soak in the tub is a better solution than a five-mile jog.
Remember: provide yourself with the same love and care you give others, including your partner. Self-care is not selfish.
8 Me Time Ideas
You may already know, or you may want to explore what works for you. Great me-time activities include:
- Exercise
- Meditation or journaling
- Pampering with beauty or body-care
- Reading
- Art, music, crafts
- Time with friends or family
- Bucket-list adventures
- Independent hobbies or interests
Note the array of possibilities in each of these items. For example, some people may benefit from playing a team sport. Others may want to do yoga, run, or dance.
As said, needs can change. Greatist has a chart of various human-battery drains and related suggestions for recharging them.
Remember: me time should be proactive as well reactive. Don’t leave it until the last second, the moment you come to the end of yourself.
How to Ask and Plan for Me Time
It can be hard to request time apart, but identify the source of your anxiety. If you feel selfish, shift your internal vocabulary to think in terms of self-care rather than self-indulgence.
If you worry about your partner’s feelings or reaction, practice explaining your needs beforehand. As in other matters, clear communication is integral to a successful relationship.
Some points to establish:
- Physical distance doesn’t mean emotional distance.
- Time apart gives you the chance to rebalance and recalibrate yourself, giving you more energy to devote to the relationship.
- Balance is important. Personal identity and growth matters even within the context of couple identity and mutual growth.
- It’s no more “about them” than your need for sleep is “about them.”
Remember: when done right, me time benefits relationships. It shouldn’t threaten them.
Tips to Help You Communicate Your Me-Time Needs
If you’re still nervous about the conversation, try these approaches:
Match me time with us time.
Quality couple time is invaluable. Make it clear to your partner that you care about the needs of the relationship as well as your personal needs.
At the same time that you approach the idea of some time apart, plan for time together. You might suggest a future date. Or perhaps there’s an activity or project that you’ve been discussing as a joint venture. Figure out how to get it off the ground.
Be specific.
When the concept is left abstract, the idea of me time can be more threatening than it should be. While you are still establishing the need for time apart, link the broader concept to a specific practice.
Examples:
- I need time to myself to jog a few times a week – most often on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Running alone helps me to clear my head and center myself.
- I need to spend more time drawing/writing/making jewelry. At least a couple times a week, I’m going to head out/shut myself in the office and work on it. I really miss expressing myself in this manner.
- In the mornings, I need to take a half hour for yoga/journaling/meditation. This practice grounds me and gets me ready for the day. I know it may not always be possible, but when it is, I’d really appreciate it if you could handle any interruptions that come up so that I can focus internally.
- I haven’t seen Jenny in a long time. I really need to reconnect with her, so the two of us are going to spend some quality time together on Saturday.
Schedule It.
Make it a feature of your calendar, something that needs to be respected in the same way that your partner respects your other commitments. Doing so will ensure that me time doesn’t get lost in the chaos of the week.
You Time Matters, Too!
Encourage them to take time for themselves. Pay attention to the relationships and practices that support them outside your relationship. Suggest they get together with a certain friend…or head to a yoga class…or whatever it is they might miss.
Remember: be considerate and clear. If you still struggle to establish the mutual need for time apart, there may be other problems with your communication or dynamic that need attention.
Let us know: how do you make time for yourself in your relationship?
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]]>Pairs that embrace mental challenges together stay stimulated by their relationship. They learn from one another and develop respect for each other’s abilities and ideas. They report greater intellectual compatibility, which leads to greater relationship satisfaction, individual confidence, and cooperation.
Long term, there is no substitute for wide-ranging, frequent, and deep conversation to cultivate this aspect of your relationship. Ask one another wild “what-if” questions. Make an effort to research a topic that fascinates them and then engage them about it.
And try some of these daring date ideas. They will spark curiosity, exercise intelligence, and generate conversation. They will help you foster an established relationship or evaluate intellectual compatibility with someone new.
So get ready to challenge your brains!
High-Culture Date Ideas
Most of us fail to take advantage of the incredible cultural resources that our cities or hometowns offer. Do a little research. Many cities have cultural directories you can check out, and others at least maintain tourism websites that include local attractions.
From live performances to art galleries to nights hosted by a nearby coffee shop, you have a wealth of resources just outside your door. Or even at your fingertips. An increasing number of programs have taken their offerings online, making them available in times of closure and to wider audiences.
Explore your intellectual sides with these dates:
- Visit an art gallery or museum. If heading to an art museum, seize the opportunities presented by its special programming and exhibits. Or establish beforehand which one or two collections you want to focus on in a larger institution. Don’t try to take in so much that you’re just overwhelmed.
- Go to the theater, opera, or a concert. You may not live in a place (or time!) where these are readily available, but have no fear. Radio stations have been streaming live concerts since the beginning. These days, you can also see the best Broadway and the Metropolitan Opera have to offer right from your living room. Or venture across the Atlantic for the absolute best in Shakespeare productions.
These services are often free or offer free trials, so there’s no need to break the bank to get your dose of culture. You can still make a night of it, too. Dress up and plan a nice meal to be enjoyed at home.
- Explore Google Arts & Culture. Google now brings you an unbelievable array of interactive cultural experiences. You can visit landmarks and museums or take interactive world tours connected through a common theme. Or do something really crazy like crafting your own opera with machine learning.
- Watch a film rather than a movie. You know the difference! Many local theaters stream old classics, or you could always take in a foreign film at home.
- Attend the reading of a local writer or a poetry night. You can discover one another’s literary tastes and maybe even give yourself new talent to follow. Plus you can support independent bookstores, which is always a worthwhile endeavor.
Puzzling Date Ideas
Work together to solve a riddle or head out for some bar trivia. Games aren’t just fun. They can help you bond over a common problem or against a common enemy – um, I mean, rival team.
Some of these activities also make great ice-breakers when you’re dating someone new. But they’re just as much fun with spouses or significant others. Do enough of them, and you’ll find yourselves naturally assigning certain questions to your partner, increasing your respect for their areas of expertise.
Think while you play with these dates:
- Do an escape room, scavenger hunt, or riddle quest. These group challenges will invigorate you, getting your bodies moving while those mental gears turn. When it’s over, you’ll find yourself rehashing your moves in detail over drinks or dessert.
You can also buy games or mysteries that aim to bring these experiences home. If you really like them, you can hunt a killer every month or subscribe to a different mystery or puzzle subscription box.
- Attend a trivia night at your local bar. You don’t have to be a pop-culture expert to contribute. The odds are that you have some specialty or jumble of random facts that will help bring your team to victory. Learn about the other person’s knowledge hodge-podge in a fast-paced and energetic environment.
- Make an event out of the Saturday or Sunday crossword. Set yourselves up with coffee or mimosas and some breakfast. Then tackle the harder Saturday or longer Sunday puzzle together. If you’re a crossword newbie, the New York Times has some tips to help you get started.
Curious-Cat Date Ideas
Explore new worlds and ideas together. Maybe there’s a subject that intrigues you, or you’re just someone who likes to learn. Either way, these date ideas will give you new things to talk about and ways to engage.
Stoke and satisfy your curiosity with these dates:
- Watch a documentary, listen to a TED talk, or attend a lecture at your local university. You can pick a subject that interests you both or one that relates to individual passions. Either way, you’ll gain new ideas and information with which to engage.
If you play into one person’s expertise, make sure that it’s still approachable for the other. Taking on the roles of teacher and student can be healthy, but try to keep things balanced by switching things up for next time.
- Go to a science museum. If you were lucky enough to visit these attractions as a kid, it’s easy to forget how much you used to enjoy them. Let your naturally curious inner child out to play with the dynamic and interactive exhibits they present. Unlike a massive art museum, you don’t necessarily need a plan. It can be fun just to run – I mean, walk sedately – around.
The Used-Bookstore Date
Yep. Number eleven gets its own category:
- Head to a big used bookstore. First, put ten crisp dollar bills in each of your pockets. Once you get there, wander the aisles together, pointing out books you’ve loved, topics that interest you, things that remind you of funny events from your past, and even books that have bored you to tears. Walk around this incredible space, using it as a reference library for your personal histories.
Before you leave, separate and go shopping for one another, based on the conversations you just had. Pick out a book they seemed intrigued by, wanted to revisit, or that relates to something you learned about them.
Have lunch or dinner somewhere close. After you’ve ordered, exchange gifts and let the conversation continue to flow.
Don’t Stop There
Think of intellectual maintenance as part of the work you should put into your relationship. Revisit these date ideas. You can also look ahead for future lectures, events, performances, or exhibitions. Put these on the calendar, so the two of you can look forward to them together.
Creativity and adventure are important to relationships. Try new things together – whether it’s a photoshoot date or awesomeness that won’t break the budget.
Share your experiences with these date ideas or your own favorite ways to challenge your minds together!
]]>A Perfect Movie Date Night at Home and Ideas to Keep the Date Going
When it’s cold outside, there’s nothing quite like the coziness of snuggling under a blanket with someone who inspires warmer feelings. Add hot chocolate, and you’ve got almost all the makings for the perfect evening in.
Let your television take you on a time-traveling journey this winter. These movies—one for each decade since Hollywood began—will fill your season with love and laughter. Whether you’re celebrating yet another anniversary as a couple or just getting to know one another, plan an evening around one of these romantic comedies, several of which make the American Film Institute’s list of top ten rom coms.
You can sit back and relax or use the films as jumping-off points for the creative winter dates listed below. Either way, you may find that it’s not just the on-screen romance that blooms…
All of these movies are available to rent or buy on iTunes and Amazon Prime, and most of them are also available through other on-demand platforms. You can also watch some through subscription streaming services, which are noted below.
1920s
Safety Last (1923)
HBO Max
One of the first romantic comedies on film, Safety Last is a silent movie that follows the antics of Harold Lloyd. Lloyd plays the male lead as he heads off to the big city, leaving his hometown and girlfriend behind. He wants to be able to support a family before he has his girlfriend join him.
Lloyd’s determination to “make good” leads to one of the iconic images of early cinema: Lloyd holding on to a clock hand and dangling from the top of a tall building.
Date Idea:
Take a cue (card) from the silent film. Try making a meal together, collaborating without making a single sound. It’s harder than you think!
1930s
It Happened One Night (1934)
If you like road trips or odd couples, this one’s for you! Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert star in this vintage romantic comedy about a runaway heiress and a reporter.
You’ll never think about the walls of Jericho the same way again…assuming, of course, that you ever thought about the walls of Jericho to begin with.
Date Idea:
The film’s most iconic image involves a hotel room split down the center by a blanket, which raises the question: are you ever really too old for a blanket fort? Camp out in your living room…literally. Make a fort, grab your sleeping bag, or build the perfect nest on your couch.
1940s
Adam’s Rib (1946)
For a chemistry-driven romantic comedy, look no further than Adam’s Rib, which pairs Spencer Tracy with Katharine Hepburn. The two play married lawyers who oppose one another in court. The screen crackles with the energy between this real-life couple.
Date Idea:
Make it a Tracy-Hepburn double feature. Pair it with one of their other films. Woman of the Year, their first together, is always a good choice. You can watch the actors fall in love alongside their fictional counterparts.
1950s
Some Like It Hot (1959)
Tubi and Pluto TV
Admittedly more comedy than romance, Some Like It Hot consistently appears on critics’ lists of favorites for a reason. And that reason is Jack Lemmon. (Okay, fine. Tony Curtis and Marilyn Monroe are good, too.) He and Curtis play musicians who disguise themselves in order to hide in an all-girls band after they witness a mob hit.
One warning: if your partner fails to crack a smile, they may be missing a sense of humor. But then, as the movie’s final line states, “nobody’s perfect.”
Date Idea:
No one does glamor like Marilyn did. You may be watching the movie at home, but glam up the experience with fancy clothes and champagne (or sparkling cider).
1960s
How to Steal a Million (1966)
Audrey Hepburn and Peter O’Toole are enchanting in this caper film that revolves around art thieves who fall in love. Misunderstandings and mistaken identities abound as Hepburn convinces O’Toole to help her steal a small statue from a museum.
Date Idea:
You don’t need to commit a felony to take on a challenge together. After the movie, work together on anything from a jigsaw to a scavenger hunt to an online escape room.
1970s
Grease (1978)
This list needed at least one musical, and Grease is the word. (“It’s got groove, it’s got meaning.”) Go back to high school with Sandy and Danny and just try not to sing along with all your favorite songs.
Date Idea:
Try setting up your own home drive-in movie theater just like the one you’ll see in the movie. You can wait until summer, or cuddle up under some blankets and watch from the warmth of your car.
1980s
When Harry Met Sally (1989)
HBO Max
This rom com has more to offer than its most famous scene (the one where Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm in a café). The ultimate best-friends-to-lovers movie, When Harry Met Sally is a story of people falling in love while living in denial.
Date Idea:
It’s the perfect movie for a double date or just a group of friends. And after it’s over, play some Pictionary. Let’s hope you do better than Sally…although the hilarity of “Baby Fish-Mouth” might be worth the loss.
1990s
As Good as It Gets (1997)
Amazon Prime
Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt face plenty of challenges in this romantic comedy, which tackles subjects like homophobia, chronic illness, and obsessive-compulsive disorder with heart and humor. Ultimately uplifting, the movie proves that if this is “as good as it gets,” it gets pretty darn good.
Date Idea:
Get real with each other. Use the movie as a vehicle to lead into a conversation about tough choices and situations you’ve handled in your own lives, independently or together.
2000s
Love and Basketball (2000)
Hulu
Writer-director Gina Prince-Blythewood set out to write When Harry Met Sally but with a more diverse cast. The result: a cult-favorite romance that tells the story of best friends, lovers, and athletes…and treats the women’s pro-sports dreams every bit as seriously as the men’s.
It’s a movie that expertly balances personal empowerment with love and partnership. You don’t have to like basketball to love this movie or to be inspired by its main characters.
Date Idea:
Play a little one-on-one like they do in the film. It doesn’t have to be hoops. Pick a game you both enjoy, and indulge in some healthy competition.
2010s
Love, Simon (2018)
Hulu and Sling
A queer coming-of-age romance that chooses comedy over angst and treats its protagonist’s journey as fundamentally normal. It’s Sixteen Candles for a new era (and without the racism that mars the John Hughes film). Simon falls in love as he and a mysterious stranger write to one another online.
Love is love, teenagers are teenagers, and high school can be heaven or hell. And Love, Simon is a sheer delight.
Date Idea:
Write one another letters to be opened after the date. These should be getting-to-know-you letters—even if you already know one another well. Tell stories, express opinions, or ask questions that you think will help the two of you know one another (even) better.
2020s
Emma (2020)
HBO Max, Hulu, and Amazon Prime
What’s old is new again! A movie that enchants even the most critical Austen fan, Emma never glosses over its heroine’s faults. The spoiled heiress has to learn humility and kindness—not before being loved but before accepting it.
It’s the best Jane Austen movie since, well, Clueless, the nineties adaptation that put Emma in high school and called her Cher (which is also worth watching).
Date Idea:
Forget popcorn. When you’re watching an Austen adaptation, you need to elevate your fare. Have a little English tea with your movie. Don’t forget the scones (or cucumber sandwiches or other teatime treats)!
With one hundred years of romantic comedy at your disposal, you’ll find the long, dark nights a blessing in disguise. You may even find time to revisit old favorites. So comment below and tell us: what’s your favorite rom com?
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